Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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