even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
