Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
