Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Randomize
