pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
pop tarts are not kleenex
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
