Don't make out with my wife yet
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
