I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
