You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize