You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ate ashes out of my bong
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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