I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
