He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
