The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
