if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
