you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize