tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
