she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
