she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
