Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
