If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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