so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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