So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
