Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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