is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize