You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
