Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
