he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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