Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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