I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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