look no pants
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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