well I can't set my house on fire every night
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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