We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
