Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
