She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
