so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
