If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
