Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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