fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
