whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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