I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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