after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
