i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
