try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
