I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
