I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
