Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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