Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
