then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
