I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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