she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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