What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
