Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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