So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
