The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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