So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
