I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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