Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
