As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it hurts more in the daytime
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
