If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize