Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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