but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
