You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
