I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
