just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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