Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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