I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
