i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize