you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
