Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
