What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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