**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize