It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
