We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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