The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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