The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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