Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize