plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
