i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
