Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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