Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
