This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
