all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
