i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
