there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
