I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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